Blog 48:  I’m struggling to say ‘No’.  I’m mentally exhausted and find myself doing things I don’t want to do.  Why do I agree to stuff I don’t want to?

its ok to say no

Who else is . . .

  • Finding it hard to say no?
  • Worrying about what others are thinking?
  • Finding yourself doing what you don’t want to do, in places you don’t want to be?
  • Mentally and emotionally exhausted?
  • Resenting someone else for a decision YOU made?

These highlighted points (above) are a common concern amongst those seeking caddying and help.  You are not alone.  And you can learn some skills to regain control.  You don’t have to stay in this exhausting space.  It’s time to do some assertiveness work where the first big message is: 

Maybe let’s start by being intentional in looking after you.  The situations you find yourself in could be about how much you don’t value yourself.  Let’s act our way into a new way of thinking. How can you be intentional about valuing yourself and showing that you matter.  Because you really do matter!  How can you expect others to value you if you don’t?  So here are some practical starting points, things you can do now:

  • – Look after yourself – how much sleep do you need?
  • – Look after yourself  – let’s start an exercise program (if you don’t have one already).   Look after that body.
  • – And while you’re in that space, how’s your diet?  Do you need to make changes there?
  • – Write a list of your strengths.  We’ve all got them – what are yours?  What are your talents and achievements?  Things you can be proud of. 
  • – What’s on your rich life list? – make sure you are doing some of those activities.  Blog 12 talks about a rich life if you’ve missed that blog.  Make sure you have some items on your list that don’t cost money.  And do them!

Don’t take a shortcut here.  Take time to implement these five dot points . . . to show yourself that you are valuable. 

Act your way into a new way of thinking.

when you learn how much youre worth youll stop giving people discounts

And let’s affirm you.  Here are some Living Wisdom affirmations – hold tightly onto these. 

  • 1. I belong here – I do belong
  • 7. It isn’t just what happens to me that matters, but how I think about it
  • 9. Comparing myself with others is out of bounds in my thoughts
  • 10..I matter. I am valuable.  I am okay and so are other people

Maybe put them on a card or somewhere prominent in your phone.  Somewhere where you can be constantly reminded. 

Basically, we are starting a journey of centering ourselves. 

Centering usually refers to our mental and physical state of mind. It’s the place we know we have to get back to when we’re not feeling like ourselves. When we’re not centered, we might feel lost or out of touch with ourselves. When we center ourselves, we bring calm to our emotions

Psychology Today

We need to calm our emotions so we can start to deal with others.  So let’s get centrered. 

That means let’s stop there and centre ourselves with the homework contained in this blog.  To do that, you’re going to need to:

  • That may be . . .
  • -an exercise, sleep or healthy eating plan
  • -making a list of your strengths and things you have achieved
  • -making a rich life list
  • . . . and acting on it.

No shortcuts here. 

if you have a goal write it down if you don't write it down you do not have a goal you have a wish

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Blog 48:  I’m struggling to say ‘No’.  I’m mentally exhausted and find myself doing things I don’t want to do.  Why do I agree to stuff I don’t want to?