Blog 10:  Why doesn’t everyone respond like me, think like me?  Know yourself, observe yourself.  PART 2:  Identifying invisible scripts & living on your terms

what you think about yourself is more important than what others think of you

A key part of getting to know yourself is understanding your invisible scripts, but a word of warning – exploring this space can be painful.

Invisible scripts are usually so subtle they’ll pass through your mind completely undetected all the while influencing what you think, say, and do. That’s what makes them so dangerous

Ramit Sethi
two fish talking to each other, unaware of what water is, they are so used to it

Invisible scripts are our sub conscious belief systems.  We’ve gathered them from our family, friends, culture, school, the media . . . and who knows where else.  Lots of time they go unnoticed (that’s why we call them ‘invisible’) and are often branded as ‘stinking thinking’.  They’re so ingrained in our thinking we don’t even realize we have them. And they can hold us back, but now it’s time to start dealing with them and live life on your terms.

Invisible scripts can positively or negatively guide our attitudes and behaviour.  The first step is to become aware of them and challenge those beliefs in an effort to lead toward greater self-awareness and personal growth.  So let’s look at some examples of negative scripts so you can identify some of yours:

Here’s a dozen “negative scripts”, Living Wisdom have identified:

  1. I’m not wanted here, I always feel left out
  2. I can’t be happy until things get better
  3. Things are never going to change
  4. Getting angry helps when things are unfair
  5. No one really cares what I do
  6. I hate my life; it is so boring and there is nothing I can do
  7. It’s hopeless and not going to get better
  8. It is better and safer to stay quiet
  9. No one wants to hear what I have to say
  10. I’m different and everyone knows it
  11. I’ll never be good enough.  I can’t do anything right
  12. There’s something wrong with me

And here’s a handful i hear people say:

  • I need to go to uni to be successful
  • I need to get married, buy a house and have 2.5 kids
  • I don’t have enough money
  • I don’t have enough time
  • I’ll never get a job (or promotion) in this economy

Now while invisible scripts can be both positive and negative, it’s the negative scripts (like those above) i’m focusing on as they’re the ones that unfairly hold you back.  They need to be identified and called out as they often prevent us from achieving our goals.  To do that we need to find ourselves in safe and non-judgmental spaces where you can explore your beliefs and assumptions.  That can be with honest friends, a support group, a coach . . . or your life caddy.  You really need to be able to identify and question your thoughts and challenge limiting beliefs.  Listening to others go through this process can also help you on your journey.  Take time here.  This is a crucial step in your personal growth and transformation.

Try to get your invisible scripts down on paper, make a table and put the negative ones in one column and a growth mindset response (we talked about growth mindset in Blog 6:  Why am I always saying sorry?  I feel like I’m always making mistakes and never good enough. PART 1).  If you can get to this stage you have broken the back of the hold invisible scripts may have on you.  You know the new script to use whenever that stinking thinking comes into your head.  Here’s an example of the table you can produce (using Living Wisdom)

Invisible ScriptNew Growth Mindset
Things are never going to changeI don’t need to give up because there is always a way through or around There are no hopeless situations, not even one
I’ll never be good enough.  I can’t do anything rightI am acceptable without being perfect I matter.  I am valuable.  I am OK and so are others.

So take a closer look at the invisible scripts that are controlling your life, challenge them, and change the way you see yourself and your world.  Start living on your terms with a new, positive and growing way of thinking.

cat looks into a mirror to see themselves as a lion

Next week we’ll look at how to identify your cultural invisible scripts.  What have i picked up from my inherent culture that shapes the way i see all people?  Maybe we don’t all see the world the same. 

It’s time to find the strength in knowing . . . you don’t know. 

socrates quote as for me all i know is i don't know

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