
That’s a horrible feeling. i hope in this blog you find the tools you need to slowly build back your confidence so you can enjoy life and step into the opportunities that are presented to you. We’ll look at five tools this week and five next, to give you time to mull and apply yourself to these tips. Let’s go . . .
- Practice self-care: If your confidence is down, you need to make it your business to look after you. What does that look like? Here’s some practical things you can do today:
- Be kind to yourself. What does that look like? Defend your sleep, eat well, take a walk in the sunshine, decrease the expectation on yourself and find space to relax. Give yourself some margins.
- Exercise. Get that body moving. Exercise can improve your mood and reduce feelings of depression and anxiety.
- Find your rich life. Now rich is not necessarily about money. A rich life is about “A life that is full. A life lived intentionally, proactively, and abundantly” (Ramit Sethi). What does that look like to you? It could be as simple as a cup of coffee and reading the paper in the winter sun or dropping the kids off at school. Think through what those rich life activities are in your life and embed them in your rhythms and plans.
- Positive self-talk. If your confidence is down, you’ll probably be hearing significant negative self-talk and questioning your worth. Let’s flip that. Keep a list of positive sayings that will reframe your brain. Take any of these from Living Wisdom as a starter. . .
- I belong here – I do belong
- I can get used to the place I am in and still grow
- I deserve to feel safe and loved – always
- Sometimes life is good and fair – sometimes it’s not
- All my choices matter. They all have consequences
- God does care about me, even when it doesn’t seem like it
- It isn’t just what happens to me that matters, but how I think about it
- Everything can be talked about, and most things can be sorted out.
- Comparing myself with others is out of bounds in my thoughts
- I matter. I am valuable. I am okay and so are other people
And in discussions about self-talk is a good time to remember the value of . . .
2. Embedding your growth mindset

© Dartmouth College
Blog 6 explained maintaining a growth mindset. It might be time to revisit that blog and make sure our mental frames are right.
3. Practice gratitude and cultivate compassion
Look around you. There is much to be grateful for. Look for the good in life. Identify it and name it. This will help build your positive mindset and build your confidence. When you look at the good things around you, the difficulties may fall into context.
Send a note of gratitude to someone who has helped or supported you. Simply say thank you to the people you engage with daily.
And start to cultivate compassion. Live a life outside of yourself. Take time for some random acts of kindness or maybe an impromptu check in on a friend or family member.
Your world may start to take on a brighter outlook.
4. Acknowledge your strengths and talents
You’ve got them. We all do. Let’s name them (that means get them down on paper, don’t lose them in the fog of your brain).
In the your life caddy blog series we have discussed the enneagram [Blog 9]. There are strengths identified in there, just by virtue of the way you are wired. There’s a start. And what else? If you’re stuck, think about some family or friends who are positive, constructive people and ask them.
Find that unique you. It’s there. And be proud of who you are. There is only one of you.
5. Think like a goldfish
Now for growth, it’s important that we learn from our mistakes, i get that. i acknowledge we should win or learn. But there are sometimes, for our own mental health, we just need to move on from our mistakes and failures. Squeeze the juice from the lesson, but cut the emotional baggage from the failure. That’s when we need to think like a goldfish.
It is said a goldfish has a 10 second memory (i don’t think that’s factually true, but it makes for a good analogy). So, you’ve got 10 seconds to learn your lessons and move on.
Now all of this said, i highlight the value of professional therapists, counsellors and psychologists. If you are struggling with your mental health, get yourself to the people who have specifically trained to help you. You may find there are other reasons for your lack of confidence that only they can unlock.
Next week in Part 2 i’ll give you the last five tips to help you regain your confidence.

Your life caddy
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