
i seem to be bumping into people who are struggling with toxic workplaces and the courage to leave. Some are those who ,are engaging in the caddying process and some are friends, and some are friends engaging in the caddying process. It’s heartbreaking to watch them caught in a cycle where work is difficult and costing them emotionally . . . but leaving is harder (for a range of reasons). Each of them seems to be ‘boxed in’. This blog tries to understand the bind we find ourselves in, identify healthy thinking, and provide courage for a leap.
We often find ourselves caught in a space where the fear and cost of leaving our workplace is greater than the pain of staying. But the pain of staying can come with a high mental cost which we often underestimate. How much are you really putting up with? And so, we try and be stoic and tough it out. But at what cost?
In contrast to my struggling friends, i have watched another friend make the leap and change vocation. The change in her has been breathtaking. If I could describe the status of her past job I would use the word ‘mundane’. It was just a job, it wasn’t great, but it served its purpose. Then she applied herself to a different career with a different organization. The change in her has been incredible – much more ‘up’, energized and looking forward to work each day. She loves work and has a new lease on life which spills over into her personal life. The contrast between her and others who are in the bind of work is black and white.

©MyCorporation blog
So why don’t we make that change? Why don’t we make that leap? Maybe we are held back by a fear of the future being worse (or at least the same). Perhaps we lack confidence. Possibly we are trapped by the golden handcuffs. Maybe we also underestimate the cost to our mental health of staying.
“Golden handcuffs are a collection of financial incentives that are intended to encourage employees to remain with a company for a stipulated period of time. Golden handcuffs are offered by employers to existing key employees as a means of holding onto them as well as to increase employee retention rates”.
Investopedia

©Career Coaching
Golden handcuffs can look like good pay, status or conditions . . . or perhaps you make your own golden handcuffs of convenience, good friends at work or your workplace being close to home.
There are plenty of opportunities out there and if you are reading these blogs you are obviously someone who is hungry and keen to grow. Often we calculate the financial costs but don’t consider the emotional costs. Maybe it’s time to assess the damage, particularly where you work in a toxic environment. Can you afford to remain in this position? . . .

©123RF
Career Contessa has a good article on 10 Signs of a Toxic Work Environment + How to Deal With It. I’ll let that article do the work of helping you assess whether you work in a toxic workplace or not. However, just know that if you are struggling in that environment, it can impact your physical and mental health as well as reduce your productivity levels.
If you’ve been fighting along in a toxic culture for a substantial amount of time, it will be absorbing your strength and constantly bruising you. It might be time to think about making a change. Pursue that rich life. It may be worth taking a job which pays less if it takes you out of a toxic environment. Balance the cost of the financial rewards against your mental health. What’s that job really worth? Your life?

©X.com
Blog 12 addressed finding your rich life within the sub-topic of ‘Practice self-care’. A rich life is about a “life that is full, a life lived intentionally, proactively, and abundantly” (Ramit Sethi). Keep your eye on that rich life you are working towards. Is your workplace helping that or holding you back?
There is a great line in the movie the Last Holiday (2006) with Queen Latifah (playing Georgia Byrd) stating:
“Enclosed is some money for my burial. I would like to be cremated. I spent my whole life in a box. I don’t want to be buried in one”
Maybe it’s time to press the eject button and get out of that toxic workplace box (the one that can feel like a coffin).
Hopefully this blog has raised questions for you to ponder:
- Am I in a toxic workplace?
- What damage is it doing to myself and those close to me?
- What’s stopping me from making a leap out of this situation?
- What is my rich life?
- Is it time to get out of the box I am living in?
It’s time to mull.
When you die, they’ll put you in a box . . . don’t live in one.
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