Blog 61:  Centering.  PART 1 – for those who feel their world is chaotic and need to calm things down.

man sitting on the beach contemplating
©Possibility Change

This blog is the first of a two-part series on centering.  It’s in response to feedback from those struggling to operate in a tumultuous world. 

What can I do when my emotions are flying all around the place and I can’t seem to focus?

I’m reactive to what is happening around me.  How do I slow down and calm my emotions? 

Centering is part of the solution.  The value of this blog is in the gap between the two blogs – that’s why we don’t feed them all to you at once. This blog will help you understand centering – what it is and why it’s a helpful tool. The following blog (62) will provide practical tools you can implement.  Take time to apply yourself to the learning.  Let’s go . . .

Centering is so important.  Knowing how to centre yourself when the storms of life are buffeting you is a central and valuable skill to learn.  Let’s start this series by getting a clearer idea on what centering is . . . and what things look like when you are not centered. 

What is centering?

Becoming centered is a way to find peace within the chaos that might be surrounding us.

The place we know we have to get back to when we’re not feeling like ourselves

When we center ourselves, we bring calm to our emotions

Psychology Today
centering is maintaining focus in difficult situations
©Mind Tools

The bottom line is centrering is our capacity to bring ourselves back to a calm and focused state.  Now that sounds easy, but when life is rocking your boat and people are getting under your skin, centering can be challenging. 

Perhaps we could understand centering better by understanding what an uncentered state is. 

What happens when you’re not centered – perhaps you feel out of control.  Or flustered.  Always finding yourself reactive? Scattered? Some people describe it as feeling foggy, distracted or confused.  Your anxiety may be heightened.

And how did you get to that place?  . . . pressure will do it to you . . . and people.

i remember when my daughters were little they would play with dolls.  As they played with them, and with use, the heads would come off the dolls and they would come and ask me if i could screw the head back on.  That’s how i see centering.  Trying to screw our heads back on when they become wonky.

barbie doll head replacement
©iFixit

Why is centering important?

When we are under the pump we are not at our best.  When we are flustered, under pressure or emotive we often don’t see things clearly.  We need strategies to calm to our emotions.  To get things back in order – to put the dolly’s (our) head back on.  Get things back in focus.   What is most important right now?  To think clearly and reduce the emotion and noise.

How do I apply myself?

Understand where you are at.  And don’t just self-observe. Observe and take notes – it’ll stay in your head longer. Here’s what to capture:  What’s making your head wobbly?  What are the anxieties you feel are knocking you off balance? Put a name to them and score their intensity out of 10.  Very low impact = 1, very high impact = 10.  So you might end up with a list that looks like:

  • Frustrated with Gary at work:  3 to 7
  • Nervous when I have to speak publicly 6 to 8
  • Angry at the tasks I have been assigned, they should be Julie’s

These numbers, and the notes you keep on things that rattle you will help keeps things objective and get out of your head.  This is a key step – so let’s not rush into the process of centering, take time to reflect.  The next blog will provide some practical tools you can apply to calm your life through centering. 

Your life caddy

Your life caddy . . . when you need coaching, whether that’s life coaching, business coaching, entrepreneurial coaching or mentoring . . . to reset those attitudes, gain strategies with data driven approaches or build new habits and rhythms to give yourself that performance edge . . . Your life caddy is here for you. Subscribe now to keep up to date with weekly blogs, each one based on burning questions from professionals like you, seeking help.