July ’23  Unravelling the Knots:  CV’s Story . . . What’s Her Secret?

This month, a great story from CV, working in government in mid to low management who, confronted with a chaotic lifestyle and struggling to maintain order, found that a small shift produced compounding results.  Included in this story is implementing small habits to produce significant results, the impact of stacking wins and a real life example of stacking to build confidence . . . which led to more wins and a hunger for further growth.  CV’s story illustrates that despite things feeling hopeless and desperate, there is hope in small life adjustments. 

Each month, Your life caddy aims to capture a story of success.  The real story in their own words of someone who has confronted their challenging problems and found solutions and opportunities.   Where i found gold in the transcript, i have highlighted it  for you. 

Transcript

CV’s caddyOver the past year, your life has become very different. Where before it seemed like you were always struggling and life was chaotic. Now it is very different.  So first, I’d like to talk about the ‘before’.
CVYeah. Well, I was about to say I can talk about that.  To set the scene, I think I first came to you feeling desperate, hopeless, tired and emotional. Not only mentally, but physically too. I was feeling like life was always on top of me and I could never get on top of life. While I struggle with anxiety generally, but life was certainly overwhelming. As I think we discussed this at that time, life was just a tangle just, it was a mess. I didn’t even know where to start. It just was just a ball of . . . I don’t know. You described it like a ball of . . .
CV’s caddyA big ball of fishing line, all tangled up.
CVThat’s it. I think that’s the example we used and I just had no idea where to where to start, what to start with. I was feeling pretty hopeless. Not even convinced anything would work if I’m honest. I remember thinking I was pretty desperate at this stage but thought I may as well try.
CV’s caddyAnd tell me about now. How long ago was it when you thought you’d just give caddying a try? Would it be a year?
CVI think it would probably be about a year.  That’s really a contrast to now. 
CV’s caddyTell me about the contrast? What’s life look like now?
CVDefinitely a lot more ordered. But I don’t even know if that’s a good word. It’s not. It’s not like I’m living strict you know, but it’s . . .
CV’s caddyIt’s not like you’re in the army eh?  And you’re looking very relaxed enjoying your coffee.
CVNo, no, no, it’s a lot more. A lot more stable, a lot more organised. I feel like I feel like I’m on top of life, not life’s on top of me.
CV’s caddyWell rested, not as exhausted.
CVNot as exhausted. I feel like I can manage. Before, I didn’t feel like I could, but now I feel like life’s more manageable.
CV’s caddyOK, So what were the things that you put in your life? There’s such a such a contrast. We’ve got the before picture and the after picture, you’re almost like one of those weight loss advertisements. That’s where before someone weighed 150 kilos and now they weigh 80 kilos. It’s one of those. So, what are the things that you did that made a difference?  What did you actually do?
CVWell, I guess it kind of started when you and I were talking about what does an average day look like. And an average day then was, well I’ll, I’ll start the night before.  I didn’t want to go to sleep because I was dreading tomorrow. I was wanting to make the most of what hours I had left so that I could squeeze more out of today. I was probably going to bed at around 2:00am.  That would be my general bedtime. Then obviously waking up late, probably waking up around 8:00am, sleeping through my alarm several times, and then trying to get dressed in five minutes before rushing out of the house.   I’d never pack lunch or anything, just rushing out of the house, did my makeup on the drive to the bus stop.  Then I’d park at the bus stop, but I could never take the bus because I’d left it too late and the bus takes longer because it stops at every stop.   I wouldn’t make it to work on time. So, then I’m ubering to work so that I can make it to work on time.  But then I’m ubering to work during peak hour and that’s costing me $20 If I’m lucky one way.
CV’s caddySo how did you reverse it? What did you put in your life that reversed that?
CVI’m trying to remember what we started with. I feel like we started with just earlier wake up times. And it was manageable, it was OK. So if if I’m working backwards, I’d try and leave home by 7:30 and it just gave me a little bit of extra time to get to work.  I think at 7:30 maybe I managed to catch a bus.
CV’s caddyI’m I think from memory it we were just trying to go for a win a week.  Like just one early morning a week.  And that made a difference?
CVThat’s it. It was one early morning a week. I think we were looking at and I had a little table to monitor where I would put a thumbs up to myself. It was just one small improvement.  Was it one night a week earlier? And then I guess when I had some small wins, it felt good.
CV’s caddyAnd then you started stacking your wins. [refer readers to stacking wins blog]
CVI felt encouraged.  And then woke up at 7:30 four times one week.
CV’s caddyI think you felt encouraged because you had a little win, then stacked wins. You had those thumbs up accumulating in your phone – that was where you were monitoring. 
CVAnd I didn’t want to feel like I was going backwards. I didn’t want to now wake up at 8:00.  I felt like I could win.  At the start of the new year, encouraged by small progress, I wanted to accelerate that and  then I was working up even earlier and I’m wanting to get to work at 7:30am.  The wake early ups changed a number of things including my ability to get to work on a bus. So now I’m also saving a lot of money by using a bus rather than uber.  Then it almost forced me to have early evenings (sleep) because I couldn’t stay awake.
CV’s caddyI remember that. The shift in you to going to bed early.  It was really hard for you because you wanted ‘me’ time, but eventually the tiredness by going to work early kicked in and you started go to bed earlier. 
CVI never thought I’d be able to go to bed early.  I just didn’t think I could change that.   
CV’s caddyI didn’t think you’d be able to do it either, but then your consistency and determination to grow won over.  I can see that you had these compounding (stacked) wins because as you were saying, one win meant a ripple effect to other wins (early starts meant saving money, being in control and getting  more done). And now all of a sudden you’re not just getting to work early and having some space at work. But you feel more organised and recognising you’re saving money.  All these wins are starting to compound and I could see your confidence rising. 
CVAnd another one was because of waking up earlier, I have more time in the morning to get to work. So I’ve got time to make lunch.  So then not only am I saving money by not taking a bus, but now I’m not rushing out of the door in five minutes, I’m settled, I’ve got my makeup done, I’m rested and I’ve got time to make a packed lunch that I can take with me. So then I’m saving more money on lunches and I’m saving on breakfast because if have time to eat.  I probably didn’t expect just one, one little thing of of getting to work early could make a difference.  I was in such a knot.  And in fairness, it was more than that at the very beginning, we were talking about early nights in our caddying times, but I was also struggling to achieve.
CV’s caddyWell, we talked about early nights. But the wins never happened there. The wins happened in stacking some early mornings.  And then things kind of grew from there.  And then once you were in the rhythms of the morning, it seemed things just automatically changed to your nights because your body, couldn’t sustain it.
CVI almost felt foolish
CV’s caddyBut look at you now – your confidence is up and you know more is possible.
CVI know I have much more growth in me, but just don’t know how to.
CV’s caddyThat’s OK.  We’ll work that out together

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