
This month, the inspiring story of Tyler, a young man successfully confronting his autism in a quest for employment.
Tyler’s Occupational Therapist stated she had never seen so much growth in emotional intelligence, independence and employability over a five-month period, than what she had observed in Tyler.
I asked her to capture this growth. Here’s an excerpt from her e mail (based on her interview notes):
Tyler sat towards the back of the room, next to his Mum. His Mum did all of the talking, Tyler hardly spoke, however warmed up towards the end of session. Tyler spoke when I asked him a question, but it was with one worded responses. He exhibited visible signs of anxiety such as shaky hands. We did a safety and judgement questionnaire for assessment purposes, and Tyler reported he wouldn’t go to the door by himself if someone knocked, nor would he answer his phone if it rang. He also stated that if Tyler was given the wrong change or if someone asked him for money, he wouldn’t speak up at all because he would be too nervous to say anything.
Big difference between then and now!
I too, have observed an extraordinary change and growth in Tyler over the course of a year and interviewed Tyler to both highlight his growth and strategies that have worked well, and help others who may be aiming to grow through their autism.
Transcript
Tyler’s caddy | So Tyler, what is the one thing that has helped you most over the last 12 months. Your OT has seen significant growth and I have also seen a big difference in you. What do you reckon it is? How would you describe it? |
Tyler | I would say it’s just the desire to improve. It’s basically the desire to be perfect. The desire to want to be better than what I was before. Sometimes I think that I’m at the age now where basically . . . for example, I could easily use the friends I have, but the thing is that I’m 20 this year and you know, I want to make sure that by the end of the year, I want to have a job. I want to have the ability to just be in a good line of great support and I think that’s mostly what I want. And again, with wanting to improve, it took a lot of willpower and time to do it [to overcome anxiety] because when you get out there you find anxiety with difficult situations, it really becomes such a hassle to go through because you just . . . you’re thinking of failure. You’re worried about failure. But if I do it, I mean if you do fail, which is most likely not gonna happen, you’re still working on it regardless, you’ll still trying. It’s like years ago for example I went to this KFC and I tried to order something but the person couldn’t hear me. So I tried to give myself more time, but it took me five attempts before they could actually understand what I was trying to say. And so, even though I was a bit embarrassed from that, I still learned. To really get past stuff in life, you have to make mistakes. Mistakes are a natural thing and what matters the most is that you learn from those mistakes. It’s how you respond and you know, take up life basically. So as long as you do that everything you come across and genuinely have that going on then, I think, you’ll be set. |
Tyler’s caddy | Can I take you back to when you were talking to me about KFC, and now it took you five times to order something. I am here outside a café and saw you go to the counter before and order sushi. How many times did you have to ask today? |
Tyler | For that just once, because it took practice to get to that stage. |
Tyler’s caddy | So you’ve practiced. |
Tyler | Well, yeah, I mean. I’ll be honest, like this was when I was in 2017. So this was years before, and it took a lot of time to get to this point. |
Tyler’s caddy | So 2017, that was the six years ago. That was a hard time for you, yeah? What would you say to other people who are in that spot (like you were in 2017)? What would you say if you could go back and talk to your 2017 self? What would you say to yourself? Or to someone else having those same struggles like back then in 2017? |
Tyler | Look it’s alright to make mistakes. Mistakes are natural. And it’s how you respond to them that matters. Don’t focus on trying to be the most perfect person in the world. No one’s perfect. It’s like it’s the same as getting along at school. If you focus your time on getting yourself a B rather than an A, I reckon you’re more likely to succeed. I got a lot of Bs and As at school. Ideally I’d like to go for a B because a B is a good mark. |
Tyler’s caddy | So don’t be hard on yourself for not being perfect and set reasonable expectations |
Live in the Redlands (Queensland, Australia) and think Tyler may be someone who could fit your organisation? He’s looking for non-customer facing IT or administrative role. Just e mail mark1@ozsplashdown.com
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